It was and is different for Kayla. She wasn’t looking for something like this. I opened her to the idea when I shared my lifestyle with her. While I did not suggest or infer she adopt it, she said it really intrigued her. She knows she has some mild neuroses and could easily make some poor choices in trying to cope with it and this exploring could be bad for her if not done safely.
Kayla has been very comfortable in being open and honest about her feelings. I won’t share all of them with you, but she did admit she is open to exploring more, such as what I did with my M/s Immersion, or in attending some FetLife functions – but all within the safety she feels with Mike and I being present. She said she is no hurry to do those things, and wants to first get into a “submissive groove” with Mike and I.
She then lets it fester while she tries to figure out the “right” feeling in her mind
Kayla has been good at sharing her feelings when we talk in a more reflective or contemplative fashion. However, she is still unsure of how to articulate her feelings “in the moment.” What we’ve learned and that she has acknowledged is that she second guesses herself in the moment and is afraid to say anything as it may be “wrong.”
She philosophically understands that a feeling is a feeling and while they could be insensitive or misplaced, they are never wrong. Despite that understanding, her tendency is to say nothing at all. She then tends to be far more critical of herself, bestowing an inadequacy on herself that in her mind was the cause for the incident. If she learns to express herself in the moment and engage in a dialogue, I believe she will find that more often than not the situation can resolve itself right there. No need for second guessing or beating herself up later – and, that the other person’s reaction will be far less critical of her (if at all), than she is of herself. Easier said than done. I know (as does she) that this habit was born out of how to best survive in an environment that did not react well to dialogue.
She wants to be sexually adventurous but in a safe manner, and she wants to explore different aspects of herself, again, in a safe a manner
OKAY – NOW SOME SALACIOUS SPANKING STORIES! Let’s see – how about the first time I spanked Kayla! But first, let me remind you of a few things. Kayla’s contract is structured like mine when it comes to the types of Rewards (aka spankings). There are Immediate, Prompt, and Delayed Rewards. There is a Rewards Ceremony that outlines how they are administered. Immediate Rewards are given on the spot with a fast paced spanking (“shock and awe” as we call it). After an initial set of spankings, we must state why we received the spanking. If we are able to correctly state why we earned it, then we get a second and final spanking. If we are unable to do so, we get a second spanking, followed by an explanation as to why we earned it, then followed by a third and final spanking.
The first time I spanked Kayla was for cussing. Call us prudes but neither Mike nor I are big cussers. Neither of our parents cussed much and it just isn’t in our nature. Not to say we haven’t let the occasional curse word fly, but it is rare. Added to this is that J really gets freaked out when he hears a cuss word. It is typically more about the emotion in which they are said than it is the actual word, but he actually gets angry and quite animated when he hears someone cuss. Thus, we try extra hard to avoid it.